BUT — this is supposed to be a self-maintaining, growing collection of his works, updated by readers. People have added quotes, which is great — others have posted comments that are entirely irrelevant for the making of a Demetri encyclopaedia. If you like Demetri and have run out of his material to enjoy, methinks you should go forth and sample my selection of the concentrated comedy of Mitch Hedberg and Jack Handey ; they are of comprable hilarity to Demetri but less appreciated due to their relative obscurity. What ever happened to Steve Martin?
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People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
Man, I'm not doing that again until I'm a black belt. Because I can tell you there's a difference between taking karate and receiving karate. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today. You're gonna be fine. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.